Hey. It's been a while. That's the thing about a humour blog. It takes a really long time to find a clever, witty line to put after I have cancer and it's one of the worst possible kinds. And boy, are my arms tired! See what I mean? But here I am just the same, even if I haven't … Continue reading Married Life Has Been Hard. Oh, And I Have Cancer.
Life is funny, don't you think? Hmmm, me neither. Last month, I wrote about how I was going to start doing things differently. How I was going to join a gym, stop eating junk food and get myself back into shape. Well, I did join a gym and I went at least every second day, without … Continue reading I Bet Newton Never Had To Deal With This
And they fit me so perfectly and everything. Now look at them. Look: Can you believe this?
A little over eight years ago, I met Jepeto. I was 36 and in the best shape of my life. I weighed a hundred and twelve pounds, worked out regularly, ate well and - although I was a smoker - had tons of energy and felt fantastic. Eight years later, I'm 44 and haven't worked … Continue reading Doing Things Differently
*Deep breath* Did you ever work at something for a really, really, really long time without ever seeming to make any progress on it, yet you kept plugging away at it - working at it from different angles, from the same angles, from right and left angles, even from a really obtuse angle once, but … Continue reading If An IQ Score Falls In The Forest…
My visit with Ziva and and her husband M hit rock bottom when - in a slightly inebriated state - I decided to drape myself drunkenly pose rather mockingly with a statue that turned out to be in front of a church or something (and had rice all over it, which I assume is some … Continue reading The Day I Didn’t Almost Kill Ziva And M But Then We Got Drunk Anyway
Let me just start by saying that I don't lick doorknobs. I don't wash my hands 1,000 times a day in scalding hot water. I don't have to turn light switches on and off three times before I leave a room. And Lord knows, I do not feel the uncontrollable urge to clean stuff. But … Continue reading OCD And Why I Should Never Be Allowed To Make Important Decisions
So, what's new? What's everyone been up to? I completely forgot to write anything, even after receiving numerous text messages and voice mails all saying just that: WRITE SOMETHING. ANYTHING. Geez, that Nicky is one persistent... ANYWAY, here are a bunch of words that I turned into semi-coherent sentences which I separated into sections using … Continue reading Bunch of Words and Stuff
I stared in utter revulsion. After 20 minutes and considerable maneuvering - not to mention a horrible ripping sound that made me suspect we will be redoing the floor this summer - I finally managed to pry the fridge out of the alcove it lives in. And then stood, staring dumbly at the vilest thing … Continue reading Spring Cleaning
Today is a very special day. On this day in 1996, the now-defunct Montreal Expos thrashed the Colorado Rockies 21-9 at Coors Field. If that isn't incredible enough, on this day in 1789, the crew of the British ship Bounty mutinied, setting Captain William Bligh and 18 sailors adrift in a launch in the South … Continue reading Happy Birthday, Mon Ami